Six Ways of Looking at Chase (House MD - House, Chase)


Six Ways of Looking at Chase

1.

Chase was early. This was not remarkable: Chase had a certain School Captain punctuality that matched his academic history and his clothing. Chase was a complete package reliably advertised by his smile. House found this fascinating and implausible. None of the others were early. Also unremarkable. Pushing open the clear glass door, House reflected that what was remarkable was that he was here early. His leg thrummed predictably. He leaned more heavily on his cane as he always did when he was irritable.

"So you asked Cameron to a Monster Truck Rally," said Chase.

(No one else would say that. Wilson might.)

"Oh God. You're going to go all wobbly eyed and say you wish I'd asked you instead." House took out his pills and popped one, savagely.

"That depends. Was it a date?"

(Was it?)

"Yes," said House. "Except for the date part."


2.

House had hired Foreman because Foreman had done petty crime. He thought it was pretty cool that someone with Foreman's academic record had done petty crime. He thought it would be pretty cool to have someone on the team who had hidden depths, a wild streak, a willingness to break the rules when they were stupid. This, he learned quickly, was not Foreman. Dr. Foreman was straight by the book. On the other hand, he was the easiest to rile. When Foreman had said indignantly, "You hired me because I had a rap sheet?" (or whatever indignant thing Foreman had said) House had answered, "Yes," and enjoyed, while pretending to ignore, the Foreman fallout. If Foreman ever asked him seriously--really seriously came to him and asked him--he'd say he hired him because he was black.

He had hired Cameron because she was beautiful. He'd told her that straight up, and meant it; and watched her face turn eight different shades of pissed off. Beautiful women didn't become doctors--or constitutional lawyers--unless a formidable force drove them. What force drove Cameron? House felt that, on the whole, he made balanced decisions: having a woman on the team was better than spending his day hanging around three other guys. "Three guesses why you hired her," said Cuddy, and House had answered with an inscrutable expression that Cameron was meticulous, caring, and an excellent diagnostician.

"People can relax more around beautiful women," he added, squinting.

"You can't," said Cuddy.

House had hired Chase because his father was famous. He'd read his father's book; it was pretty funny. It was the editorialising that was funny, not the science, surprisingly. He'd finished the book and thought, awed, Wow, the son's going to be Frankenstein.

"This can't be Frankenstein," he said to Cuddy, on entering her office. Chase, the prospective interviewee, was rising from his seat.

"Uh, no. I'm Chase," said Chase, adding, "If my name was Frankenstein I probably wouldn't have gone into medicine."

"So your father wrote a pretty funny book," said House, but he was already losing interest. This kid was just a high achiever; the roil of issues, the shadow of daddy, the tick, tick, tick was missing.

"So I've heard. I haven't read it," said Chase.

House paused. Looked at him.

"You're hired," he said.

3.

"It's lupus," said House.

"It's fibromyalgia," said Foreman.

"It's not conclusive," said Cameron.

"I'd have to go with lupus," said Chase, sitting back in his chair.

House pointed at him with his cane. "Very good. And for the benefit of the class, you say lupus because--?"

"Law of averages. You're right more often than Foreman."

"Exactly," said House.

("What?" House heard Chase say as he was leaving the room. "You know it's going to be lupus."

"Teacher's pet," said Cameron.)

That wasn't it.

4.

Chase was Australian; this was the curve ball. It gave him a sort of laconic no worries attitude without which the hair would have been unbearable. House had mused on it. House couldn't ruffle Chase. Well, he could, he was fairly certain, if he put his mind to it. He rarely put his mind to ruffling people, though--why go to any effort to do something that tended to occur sublimely and effortlessly? He called Chase's diagnosis moronic. Cameron and Foreman exchanged looks. Chase thought for a moment, then offered a slightly better diagnosis. This, for its sheer novelty in his experience, made House pause. His handpicked bundle of daddy issues was against all expectations the calm one.

"I'll see you in the morning," said Chase.

"Hold on. Wait. You didn't get upset when I said your diagnosis was moronic?"

"Did you say it to make me upset?" said Chase.

"No, I said it because your diagnosis was moronic. Most people would have gotten upset."

"I'm pretty laid back," said Chase.

"I thought the British were supposed to be uptight."

"I know you know I'm not British."

"I know you know I know you're not British."

"I'll see you in the morning," said Chase.

5.

House walked into the lab at the same time that Cameron walked out of it. He turned to Chase, swivelling on his cane and his good leg.

"Was I interrupting?" A prurient fascination. They were alone.

Chase snorted. "Cameron thinks of me like a kid brother," he said.

"Kid brothers aren't always completely annoying," said House, with what he felt was enormous magnanimity. He had a headache.

"A lot of people go for older guys," said Chase.

House looked over at him.

Chase, unruffled, young and attractive, looked back.

6.

"I don't think of you like my father."

"Jesus, how old are you?" said House. "This is because I tried to make you tell me about your dad last week, isn't it. This is my punishment. The soul grope. The personal conversation."

"I wouldn't try to have a personal conversation with you, Dr. House. You're really bad at them," said Chase, and from out of the laid back, sunny disposition, the smile winked at him.

"Good. Then we're clear," said House.

"I just wanted you to know--"

("Oh God, we're not clear," said House.)

"I don't think of you like that. I respect you. I . . . expect things from you. You're an excellent doctor."

"So's your father," said House, his curiosity reawakened. "Not so good with the people skills, though, is he?" He watched Chase's eyes darken. There was something in all this that Chase didn't want to see; if he wanted to, House could push at it. Chase was disclaiming, not to House, but to himself.

"Now who's trying to get personal?" said Chase.

House said, "As long as we're clear."